Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I am super mad in this video. After I watched it though I laughed my ass off because I see how funny I look when I am mad. Go ahead & laugh because I know you do. :P I don't think I have ever said the F word so many times in one sitting.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
A blog on how I saw a movie and how my ex boyfriend is talking to me again about things. About how I found my friend after almost 3 years. I have writers block on my screenplay and how I plucked my eyebrows and how I am wearing purple lipstick that looks rather good on me. Now I shall go to sleep. :P
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
I know I look really tired and drained I am sure. Ha, also I know I have a missing tooth. Ha, this video is about a ton of nothing but enjoy this shit. Thank you :P
Okay, so I will upload a video later. I just need to vent a little. I don't know why but I am mega sad right now. I mean, I don't know if it's depression, I think it's just sadness. I have a friend who made me make a promise not to hurt myself in any way. Because the night that he said that I had ended up hurting myself while he was standing there, he just didn't know it because he had his back turned. I took a pen cap and tore part of it off to make something sharp and when I wasn't chewing on it or the pen to calm my nerves I would scratch the shit out of my arm to where it was just red and purple. It didn't do major damage, it just put a huge mark on my arm for about 10 minutes. It calmed me. Well, I ended up crying that night right in front of him and just flat out told him, "Sometimes I want to hurt myself. I'm sad, and I don't know why. People ask why and I don't have the answers for it." Which is true. Sometimes I just want to hurt to hell out of myself and not give a shit who see's it because it helps calm me. That's why I'm chewing on a safety pin right now is because I want to hurt myself but I can't. I know I am better than that. I used to have a bad thing about harming myself everyday. I would cut everyday just like someone would brush their teeth. I remember I would go to school with my arm full of cuts one after another and have my sleeves rolled up just to see who would notice. I eventually got send to a behavioral rehabilitation center near me. Ten days of my life were lived there. It sucked but it also helped for some time until real life came back and hit me in the face. I do have a few scars. Nothing to bad though. Small white ones you can see on a summer day after I have sweated. They turn like pink. I have one on each thigh where the blade dropped twice on them. I think the dumbest thing I did was cut my leg up badly and wore a dress the next day. I forgot I had did that. I think I just enjoy the pain. I mean, I do enjoy that type of pain. That is why I like piercings. It is a pain. I like being scratched and roughed up when with a guy, it is pain and I enjoy it. But...like I have said, it helped calm me when stressed. Right now..I sort of just want to just do a small cut on my leg...but I promised...and that kills me.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Okay, ha. This video is so random. I did one before this but didn't like it as much. So, I just made a new one. 5 minutes, I hope someone has 5 minutes to spare watching this video. Um, I will post another one before the night is over I'm sure. :P xoxo
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Okay, that school tour was very long. I would like to go to the school but the want to much information. Why the hell do you need to see my shot form? I'm so confused. Anyway, I need to talk to my mom about it and then they want me to see them again next Tuesday. Damn, I hope I don't fall asleep like almost did today. I won't if my mom will even let me go to this school. I sort of hope so, it's so small and everyone is super nice. Anyway, I will let that be it for now. I will chat with you all later. Bye:)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
This had to be one of the hardest and craziest things I have ever done. It was so simple to do but took a lot of guts to do it. I had to stand up to someone I once did like and say hello and hope they did not screw me over in the process.